By Catherine Greenleaf
You are most likely reading this blog because you have lost someone you love to suicide. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I hope you are doing all you can to take good care of yourself. Suicide loss can have quite an impact on your sense of well-being, your self-esteem and your physical health. It's very important to nurture yourself during these difficult times while you recover from your loss.
Some things you can do right away:
1)
Surround yourself with people who validate your loss. Steer clear of
the people who seem to be hurrying you through your grief, telling you
to "Buck up," "Get over it," and "Move on." Grief takes its own time.
There is no stopwatch for your loss. You will get through it in your own
way and on your own terms.
2) While we may be living in the 21st century,
there is, unfortunately, still a great deal of stigma associated with
suicide. You are in a very emotionally fragile and vulnerable place
right now. Be careful to shield yourself from the many conflicting views
and opinions of others with regard to suicide. Don’t be afraid to stand
up for your loved one when others would prefer to condemn or criticize.
Not everyone is aware 90% of all suicides result from brain disorders,
including chronic depression.
3)
Get plenty of rest, good food and quiet time. In other words, nourish
yourself, body and soul. This can be challenging because grief can
sometimes cause sleeplessness and lack of appetite. Yoga, meditation,
quiet walks, soothing music, gardening, dinners with close friends – all
of these can go a long way to helping you feel more centered and
grounded.
4)
Build a strong safety net for yourself. A safety net is comprised of
people you can trust to help you during an emotional crisis. A good team
would include: a qualified sudden death bereavement therapist; a
licensed psycho-pharmacologist to dispense any needed medications for
anxiety, depression or insomnia; a weekly or monthly suicide loss
survivor support group; and friends who are good at listening and being
there for you. The stronger your safety net, the shorter distance you
fall during difficult times.
5)
Consider getting yourself screened for PTSD. You may have witnessed the
suicide or walked in on a completed suicide, the shock of which can
cause PTSD. But you should know that just receiving the news can be
enough to propel some people into PTSD. Symptoms include: preoccupation
or shell-shocked state; agitation, hyper-vigilance, time distortion,
anxiety attacks, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, dissociation, and
flashbacks. There are very effective treatments for PTSD. Don’t be
afraid to get screened and get the help you need and deserve.
6)
Lastly, don’t be afraid to speak up. Communities often need lots of
educating when it comes to suicide prevention and/or postvention. When
you are feeling strong enough, help your community step into the light
of awareness. Ask your town library to carry books about brain
disorders. Suggest your local high school offer talks on suicide
prevention for its students. Your involvement may not only be rewarding
and gratifying for you, but more than likely will save lives.
